Well, the results are in. The surgeon called me in a day early for my appointment. (my first clue something was going on) There is bad news and good news. The mass was cancer. A non-aggressive (well-behaved) type the doctor says. He is sure he got it all and I am so glad I told them to take the mass out instead of just doing a biopsy of it. It is totally treatable and totally curable... but totally inconvenient! The surgeon is sure they will do radiation to that breast. They are still waiting for a couple tests to come in to determine if the cancer is estrogen driven. I'm scheduled for another biopsy on Thursday, the 17th. This time they will inject a nuclear dye and follow it to the first couple of lymph nodes - which they will remove and biopsy. If there is no cancer in the nodes - that will be great news. If any of them are cancerous, they will remove them all from that side... and probably recommend chemotherapy. I am more afraid of the treatment than the cancer. When they gather all of the results of the biopsies, they will give me all the options for treatment. I know God will guide me. He has been so near to me.. assuring me that I am in His hands. A couple of days before we got the results I felt like God spoke to me and let me know that there would be cancer found. I even warned my husband to prepare himself. I hesitated to tell him because I didn't want to speak "doubt". But my faith is intact. I know God is in control. Sunday night the praise team sang, "We're blessed in the city... we're blessed in the field... we're blessed when we come and when we go..." and the part that keeps going over and over in my mind is: "Late in the midnight hour - God's gonna turn it around - it's gonna work in your favor" In the middle of all of this uncertainty and chaos, I am amazed at the under current of excitement that I feel. I KNOW God has a plan. I'm anxious to see what He has in store for me. I KNOW I'm going to get to know Him in a new and deeper way; and that appeals to me. I know that whatever He has planned will give Him glory... and that is why I live. My prayer for several years has been what Mary prayed when Gabriel revealed that she would bear the Messiah.... "be it unto me according to Your will". I want what He wants - and I pray that I can bring Him glory in the way I respond to this situation.
On a lighter note... not only did God give me a warning of the results... he totally prepared me. He let me go completely through Menopause - come completely out of it and then go into it again! The perfect preparation for cancer. At least folks are a little more patient and understanding of cancer patients than they are menopausal women!
This God of mine... He constantly amazes me!